The Commonwealth of Cymbals
Major/Year: Computer Science, 2020
Hello readers! I’m excited to spend this semester as a member of the Big Red Drumline! As a former MIT student, I feel well prepared for any difficult classes here. I mean, Cornell may be an Ivy, but it’s nothing compared to the high expectations set by MIT!
I hear it gets pretty cold here, but I adapted easily to Boston’s snowy weather in my time spent at MIT, so that’s not a big concern. I am more worried about the infamous Slope, since MIT was at least flat. Guess I’m more familiar with the slopes of lines than the slopes of hills! Ha ha! Sorry, that’s just a bit of high-brow MIT humor. Don’t feel bad if you don’t get it.
I’m thrilled to join a marching band, as it was one of the few things missing from my MIT experience. But MARCHING starts with M, and you know what else starts with M? MIT! I’ll be just fine. In fact, now that I think about it, MIT can also stand for Marching In Time! I was made for this role!
Did I mention I went to MIT?
Major/Year: Computer Science, 2020
Previously Known As: "Prophet of the OJA", "Mans is HOT", "Tried So Hard"
Hello friends, enemies, mutual acquaintances, and random strangers reading this page!Thank you for taking the time to learn some more about the super swaggy cymbal line! (Got that alliteration all up in there yo)
So, some stuff about me. My first name apparently means “dark.” After I was born, the sun didn’t shine in my hometown for thirteen days (Fun fact: I am not making this up). I’m not saying that I’m the bringer of the apocalypse, but…Actually, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Be warned.
For now, though, I prefer destroying eardrums to destroying galaxies. Starting from my humble beginnings as an oboist, I have since graduated to playing the stupendously sonorous cymbals (or, as they are officially called, “Trash Can Lids with Style”). In the drumline, I make every attempt to amuse my fellows with a combination of epic lame puns, obscure references, and a sense of humor which tends to be about as subtle as my instrument.
Major/Year: ILR, 2021
Previously Known As: "SO FLY"
“Hi Mom! How are you?”
“Just calling to check in with you!”
Lifting the Chorus
“Aw thanks, that’s so sweet!”
“Doing well on your prelims?”
Eye… of… the… TIGERRRRR!!!!!!!
“I’m not failing yet!”
“Well, how is your social life?”
Three Short! Three Long?? SHORT!
“I made lots of friends
In the Big Red Marching Band!”
Screw BU is up!
“That’s wonderful, Cam!
It sounds like you’re having fun.”
Give me an “I”! “I”!
“Yup, I love it here;
College life is fantastic!”
One! Two! One Two Three-
“Okay I’ll let you
Go back to your studying.”
“Okay Mom! Love you!”
“Love you too Cam! See you soon!”
Emerald Eyes WOO!
Finally I can
Get back to cheering on the
Defense. LET’S GO RED!!!!!!!
Major/Year: Thaumaturgy, 2021
Previously Known As: "Hoeless", "Wore It Better"
Hey. Hey you. What’re you lookin’ at? You tryna start something? The correct answer is no, you aren’t. You can’t mess with me. You can’t even BEGIN to mess with me. Oh, you want proof? Just look at my hair LOOK AT IT I SAID. You think that’s dyed? Huh? You do? Well you are DEAD. FKING. WRONG. That there is pure MAGIC. Like Tonks from Harry Potter, except more BADASS. I am a GLORIOUS UNICORN GIVEN HUMAN FORM, so don’t even try to... YEAH YOU BETTER RUN AWAY! COWER BEFORE ME, PUNY MORTALS! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Major/Year: Underwater Basket Weaving, 2021
Previously Known As: "Jump On It!", "What's an RT?"
Alright it’s time for some football who’s excited IM EXCITED! GOOOOOOO REEEEEED (dammit)! Alright everyone let’s give a big cheer CHEER LOUDER DAMMIT! that’s more like it good job ROUGH EM UP ROUGH EM UP GO C.U.! Ok cool the game is starting we’re off to a good start- ok, never mind, we’re off to an ok start- … Well, we’re certainly off to a start of some sort… I guess… and there’s no way we can mess this up, right guys, so- WHAT WAS THAT?! WHOM’ST’VE APPROVED THAT PLAY?!!!!!! I have half a mind to go down there and- ALRIGHT, THAT’S IT. Time for an intervention. Hold my cymbals, I’m gonna show these fools how to play some football!
Major/Year: Materials Science Engineering,, 2021
Previously Known As: "Daddy I've Been Bad", "With Every Ding Comes A Dong"
There was once a boy whose last name was Ding. Every day he would come to school only to be mocked for his last name. The kids at school would say "Ding, what kind of name is that? What are you a clocktower?" The boy continued to endure this abuse until one day he snapped. He climbed to the top of the nearest clocktower and jumped off, to the dismay of all of those watching. However, when he landed, no one could find where he had landed. Until one astute observer discovered the boy's outline traced out onto into the stone. The reaction from the crowd ranged from shock to wonder. Some people yelled in disbelief. Others simply moved on with their lives, acting like the boy named Ding had never existed. And of all the reactions, one stood out the most. It was the voice of an elderly professor, who in his wonder at the magical event simply exclaimed: "That's a-stone-ding"
Major/Year: Throwing, 2022
Previously Known As: "Pen Pineapple Apple Pen"
What’s my story? Well, you might already know. But I never thought I would have joined the Big Red Drumline quite like this.
I didn’t grow up like the rest of you kids, I grew up doing something...different. Ever since I was five and I saw my first inanimate object, I have loved to throw things. I like to throw balls, sticks, shade, down, and everything else in between. I once threw an entire thing at a similar thing that was twice the first thing’s size. Wylddddd.
When I was 7 I heard the first person respond to my thing throwing. My best friend Lily said, “hey, maybe don’t throw that thing at me,” to which I responded with a quick throw of a tear down my face. This changed everything. I had to stop hurting the people I loved with my enthusiasm for tossing
I dyed my hair blonde, got blonder highlights, and felt the rush of my first performance. What I wanted, no, NEEDed, to throw was my VOICE! I picked up that microphone and made the best of both of my favorite activities. (Redemption arc?)
So why did I join drumline? I was afraid of who I am. But TODAY I am not afraid anymore. TODAY I will tell everyone the truth.
I am Hannah Montana y’all.
Major/Year: Sowing Confusion, 2022
Previously Known As: "GroupMe Game On Fleek"
doot doot clarinoot